Posts Tagged ‘Marriage’
The old adage is that love makes the World go round but in fact most people concede that it is sex that makes the journey interesting. Sex is responsible for so many of the World’s disasters: Samson and Delilah; Cleopatra and Mark Anthony; Marilyn and the Kennedys (both of them…) Baby boomers just adore sex and all the romance and intrigue that surround it and marriage need not necessarily dilute sexual interest (okay, in many cases it does).
Psychological articles portray The World of the ‘kept’ mistress as necessarily covert and also lonely. Whenever affairs, long term or otherwise, are brought to light it is usually the wife who draws popular sympathy, prompting a series of clichéd platitudes such as, ‘After xx years of marriage, how could he…’ or, ‘She was the last to find out…’ (Well, obviously, you idiot – if she had been the first, it would probably never have taken place!) or; ‘It’s the children who suffer’ – this last is true – it is the children who suffer.
Women who discover their husbands have been ‘playing away’ invariably imagine the mistress to be someone plastered in eye liner and wearing an ensemble that would not look out of place on Hollywood Boulevard but the truth is that men who fall into long term affairs find it difficult to extricate their affections from women who are intelligent; caring; affectionate and considerate. Sorry, ladies, the truth is that most mistresses are everything the wife would love to be. Ouch!
One of the more common observations made by lady baby boomers on discovering their husband’s infidelity is: “Well if I spent XX dollars every week on clothes and make up, I could have an affair too!!” This is true, you could; but you didn’t, so you’re not and anyway that isn’t why he did it. Listen up girlfriend – men stay with their mistresses because they get something with the other woman they do not get from you. Simple. What is that ‘something?’ Well, if we knew that, the World would be happily married, wouldn’t it?
Mistresses at any age, not just baby boomers, can have a rough life when it comes down to it – they spend every family holiday alone; they have nobody to visit them in hospital when they are sick, except for well meaning friends which is not the same as having your husband or partner bring you flowers and hugs when you are feeling low; they have to cope with every household emergency without the support of a male partner; they are expected to welcome unscheduled sex in the small windows of opportunity that present at odd times of day or night; psychological articles acknowledge that mistresses are deeply affected by their relationships and usually end up lonely and hurt: they are not all love rats.
Dr Karen Turner, PhD, is a clinical psychologist with an interest in the baby boomer generation as the most successful and resourceful of all generations. Boomeryearbook.com focuses on connecting the baby boomer generation and providing interaction for boomers everywhere. If you are a baby boomer with an interest in the mysteries of the human brain, Boomeryearbook.com is the social network for you.
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Baby Boomer who focus on their God-given purpose live longer than those who don’t. This is not very surprising. Everyone has seen someone slide into depression and isolation because their purpose in life the thing that gives his/her life meaning suddenly vanishes for some reason. This does not need to happen to baby boomers when they retire!
Many people define their life purpose in terms of their career, especially if they understand it as something of a calling. Many others define their sense of purpose in terms of their family a strong marriage and raising healthy, happy children. Despite all of the humor that surrounds the idea of a mid-life crisis, many people do experience a crisis at mid-life. And the reason for the crisis is often either that they no longer need to focus on the same things. Whether it is the person who has devoted a life to a career and suddenly awakens to the thought that there must be more in life or that the career really doesn’t bring any sense of fulfillment to life, or it is the person who suddenly recognizes a large void in life because the children are grown and gone and the marriage is different, life changes and our sense of purpose and meaning changes.
While I firmly believe more baby boomers have centered their careers around their sense of purpose than did their parents, retirement brings a significant lifestyle change. Those who followed their purpose in their careers will suddenly need to find new ways to fulfill their purpose. Those whose careers were not tied to their sense of purpose need to awaken their life purpose and pursue it in order to find meaning and fulfillment in their lives.
When you discover or awaken your purpose in life, you discover new meaning in everything you do. You might want to think of the various aspects of your life and marriage, family, friends, fun, finances, or work as points on a circle. The center of the circle should be your life purpose. When purpose is the center of your life and the center of your focus, purpose reaches into all of the other aspects of your life like the spokes on a wheel. When everything is connected in this way, life runs smoother and feels safer, more secure, and more stable. This centeredness in life brings peace of mind and fulfillment and satisfaction. It brings happiness.
When you awaken and live your inherent purpose in life, you are centered and focused and you are able to do less and achieve more. Focus allows you to concentrate your energy and your time on what is most important in your life. Understanding and living your life purpose also defines your values and your actions. Purpose makes it easier to make decisions about what you will or will not do.
So, baby boomers, if you awaken your life purpose you will live longer and live better in the second phase of life. Discover your God-given purpose and discover a life of inner peace, direction, and passion.
My retreats and seminars focus on helping boomers awaken their life purpose so that they could live a longer, more fulfilled and happier life. Stay tuned for my upcoming 1 day seminar on Awakening and Living Your Life Purpose.
Dr. Cynthia Barnett is a “refired” educator who has reinvented her life, moving from the school house to an entrepreneurial venue. She is a leading Retirement Lifestyle Specialist and retirement planning coach. She is the author of “Stop Singing the Blues: 10 Powerful Strategies for Hitting the High Notes in Your Life,” and “Seven Secrets of Highly Effective Retirees.” She was recently interviewed by Time magazine for their article on women in mid-life who have reinvented themselves. For more information, visit http://www.refiredontretire.com
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Please Note... All links within articles are placed by their author-owners and not by this blog.Products with in those links may or may not be the best in the world.If it sounds too good to be true it could be a scam.Articles are posted for their info,ideas and or entertainment value only.
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